Happiness…….. July 10, 2007

What is happiness? Is anyone really truly happy?  If you are please comment, I’d love to know what you think happiness is. 

Am I happy?  to be honest I have no idea.  Over the last few days I’ve thought and thought about this question.  I’m happy with my kids, I’m happy that I’m going back to school to do something I want to do, but am I happy with other aspects of my life, Not really.  Why do we stay in relationships that make us miserable?  Or am I just ready to sabotage another relationship because I’m dysfunctional like that.  Is it so much to ask to be treated with respect and to be loved?  What the fuck is love anyway!

Maybe I’m going through a mid-life crisis sort of thing.  I’m only 29 but am having issues with being so close to 30.  We’ll see just how dysfunctional I am.  No more sugar coating anything on this blog.  If I feel it, I’m going to post it. 

Don’t you have those bloggers who go on and on about how happy they are and how wonderful their husband’s are……………  I use to be one of those and it is all bullshit.  No ones life is perfect, mine especially.  To those who are still in denial……………..bite me.

 WIP

I’m BAAAACK May 29, 2007

Not that anyone reads this damn blog but I’m back.  I had switched over to blogcharm for a while and then kinda stopped blogging all together but now I’m back…………why you ask? because I need something to keep my sanity. 

 Also not to be pimping my own site but go check out my new business venture:  http://www.sabrinasvillage.com 

It is a work in progress

Here is some of our great stuff

Randomness September 15, 2006

Okay so I complain all the time about my job yes.  And I do sorta like what I do.  But am the low man on the totem pole or “the girl who makes the coffee” and I just don’t want to be that.  And I didn’t spend 30k in school loans (so far) to be the girl who makes the coffee.  But some-days I am reminded of why I wanted to work in family law.  We have a client, a man who has custody of his kids (I know strange huh, not necessarily) His ex is crazy and he had been trying to get her to just give up her rights and let his wife adopt the kids because she is nuts and just doesn’t do right by the children.  Well after a year and a half of trying to get her to do so, she gave in.  Why you ask?  Because she didn’t want to pay child support and was so far behind that DCSE was going to put her in jail.  So she signed over her kids to him and his wife.  We just finished up the adoption and it was singed by the judge.  And to of seen the look on his face when he came in for a copy of the adoption order, it was the look of a man who’s troubles had been suddenly relieved.  He and his wife are some really super nice people and the mother was causing turmoil and trouble in these kids lives and he was so worried about them, but now his worries are lifted.  It just makes me glad I chose this profession, even if it is for a brief minute.

On other news soccer starts tomorrow and The Tomboy has her first game.  TheDiva’s mother signed her up with their local soccer team but there wasn’t enough interest so now she’s on the waiting list to participate in the county program which TheTomboy is in.  But now that schools in there’ll be non  stop running for activities of all sorts

TheEldest left his shoes at my MIL’s house the other day.  And reports from a classmate of his that knows our family said that he had been wearing flip flops all week to school.  Which my MIL and I both thought was odd because it has been cool and drizzly this week.  Plus if anything like TheTomboy’s school they are not allowed to wear flip flops because of gym class.  So anyway he is suppose to go to a dance and football game tonight and then I will pick him up after.  So I got his shoes from my MIL’s house and was going to take him his shoes.  I arrive at his mother’s house (aka Witch) and see vehicles but no one out side.  And since I can not go on her property (long story where she threatened me, while I was pregnant an then got papers served on me, over two years ago) I couldn’t go knock on the door to give them to him.  So I decided I go to his school and drop them off to him there, which is what I usually do.  So anyway I get there, tell them who I am and they call him up to pick up his shoes and some socks (because I figured he’d be wearing his flip flops again) and yep he was.  No only was he wearing flip flops but his hair also looked greasy and he looked like he had been up all night and very tired.  I told him I’d pick him up tonight and he went back to class.  Now this ticked me off because we’ve run into the “no shower or bath” issue before.  Over the summer they are with us a week and the Witch a week.  During his time with the Witch many times he didn’t take a bath or shower.  Sometimes being because his mother and step dad used up all the hot water and had to go so he didn’t get a shower.  But being at our house during that time we made sure he took a shower everyday.   But now school is back in and they only come 2 days a week and every other weekend, trying to resolve this problem is going to be impossible. 

Maybe I better explain to you about the Witch.  The Witch is the type of person who tries VERY hard to make everyone else see how great she is, great mom, great business woman, great wife…..etc…   But no matter how hard she tries her true self seems to come out and everyone sees how terrible she is.  The problem is that she think’s it everyone else who has the problem and not her.  Quite the contrary.  She had even been heard saying she didn’t want kids and that when her kids hugged her sometimes she coudn’t stand it.  Funny thing because she had 2 kids with TheGrump and has a new baby with the new husband.  The way she treats them is nuts.  She plays with their minds and emotions and it is taking a toll on them.  You can tell, Hell everyone who’s known them all their lives can tell.  And the courts just do no good because they see that “miss perfect mom” persona for the brief time she’s in court and make a decision based on that.  Which is why I hate my job most of the time..  The court just don’t have the time to see people for who they really are unless you are in court every other week and that my friend is expensive.

MIP

Rainbows, moodswings and maxi pads September 6, 2006

I’m not ready, I’m not ready………

TheTomboy is 9.  And being only 9 I thought she would be just like her mother and be a late bloomer.  I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this puberty stuff for at least another year or two.  Over the last 3 to 4 weeks I have noticed a change in her.  Her moodswings have increased greatly.  She went from being happy and care free one moment to down in the dumps the next.  That’s when I started to think it was coming.  That’s when I realized that my little girl is growing up.  

She has begun filling out some and we’ve looked into training bras for her.  Then yesterday she comes to me with this:

TB:  “mom, I felt like I was going to cry today.  All day today.  And ya know, it was for no reason.  No one did anything to me.  Nothing bad happened, but I still felt like I was going to cry”

She already knew that when she got old enough she would have a period but I didnt’ think she realized how hormonal she would be or how crazy her body would act.  So yesterday we sat down and had a talk about it and we put some maxi pads in her book bag “just in case” and now the countdown has begun. 

I wasn’t sure I was even ready to handle fourth grade this year, But I definately wasn’t ready for this.

Aren’t you just great August 29, 2006

Yes we all know your great.

Your just so freaking perfect.

Yes I know that your problems are always bigger and and what you have to say is more important.

COULD YOU PLEASE GET OVER YOUR FREAKING SELF!!!!!

***sorry guys but a gal has got to have some place to vent or her head will explode and lose her job.  Good news on that though is that I have an interview on Thrusday :)  Cross your fingers.

Anyone have a cure for the terrible twos ?  Anyone?  Please?  Queenie doesn’t comprehend that most food needs to be cooked and that you can’t eat frozen chicken nuggets and you have to cook eggs before you eat them.  She refused to eat last night because everything she wanted needed to be cooked and when I tried to cook anything she went into convulsions on the floor.  And then after all that she demanded ice cream for supper.  Although wanting to give in, I held my ground. 

hopefully this week gets better

MIP

CAN I SAY IT ANY LOUDER!!!!! August 28, 2006

I HATE MY JOB!!!!

I don’t mind doing my job but I hate finishing up something that someone else started.  They started it and then hand it to me for me to do.  WTF????  Especially when even if two people are doing the same thing/project those two people will probably have two different ways of doing things.  That’s what I get for being nice.  I hate the fact that I’m the peon here and always will be.  Always low man on totem pole.  Hell I was that when I worked in a factory (not knocking anyone who does work in one, my husband still does) It’s just that I thought I could do something that made a difference and feel good about going into work.  Now I just dread it.  and every little thing is annoying me now too.

 That about sums up my Monday

MIP

Virtual What??? August 2, 2006

Okay I’ve been looking into some way of working at home or either a different shift, so that I could persue this RN thing.  So after much searching I ran across something that I find very interesting.  Virtual Assisting!  What is this you ask?  Well I asked myself the same thing.  (take a moment to search it on the web)

I have done much searching and learned a lot about this, but also feel like I need to learn so much more.  I am currently a paralegal and feel like I would have qualifications to become a VA but is that enough?  I feel like I could build a VA business where I would eventually be able to quit my FT job and do that full time, but am I qualified enough?  I only have an associates degree. 

I guess it’s the self doubt thing.  It sounds like something that I’d love, I’d be able to work from home and if I did persue the RN thing, I could do that too.  Anyone else know anything about this business, if so please comment.  Where to start?

Food for thought July 28, 2006

Okay I’m following suit here with wordnerd’s food meme theme :) 

Here we go :

Favorite Fruit:  Pineapple and Kiwi would have to be my most favorite.

Favorite Vegtable:  French Cut Green Beans, or those flat green beans from my grandmother’s garden.

Favorite junk food:  (I can’t pick just one, probably the reason my butt is so big, ha!)  Um….. brownies, hot and gooey, oh and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies

Favorite between meal snack:  popcorn or baby carrots.

Do you have any wierd food habits?  peanutbutter crackers in chicken noodle soup.  Oh and there has to be enough crackers in there where it sucks up all the juice

You’re on a diet.  What food(s) do you fill up on?  Baby carrots of course.  But I do that anyway,  Man I love those things.  I can eat a two pound bag in a few hours.  Then I’m sick.

You’re off your diet.  Now what food(s) would you like?  a steak and baked potato

How spicy to you order Indian/Thai?  I haven’t ever ordered either before, but I love anything spicy :)  Hotter the better.

Can I get you a drink? I’m with wordnerd on this one, a Margarita would be wonderful.  Frozen, on the rocks I don’t care as long as it’s salted and quick to get here

Red wine or white?  Red

We only have beer:  No thanks, but you got to have some Tequila back there don’t you????

A perfect nightcap:  Um an Irish coffee sounds delightful. 

MIP

Food July 26, 2006

Let’s just call this wordnerd Wednesday, I’ve decided to answer her meme on my blog today due to lack of anything else to blog about.  Go check her out if you have a minute.

The Food Meme

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or over easy.

How do you take your coffee/tea? I like a little bit of coffee with my cream and sugar.  Tea Sweetened of course I’m from the south you know Favorite breakfast foods: Don’t particularly care for breakfast but toast, eggs and cornbeef hash would be good.  Oh and grape jelly on the toast.

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy? Both.  We usually buy only smooth cause the kids hate crunchy but I love both.

What kind of dressing on your salad? ranch

Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make? Bologna sandwich or perogies.

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? ham, pinapple, and hot peppers for us and plain old cheese and pepperoni for the kids.

You feel like cooking. Depends on what’s in the fridge.  Made some awsome homemade fried chicken the other night and homemead mashed potatoes. yum!

Do any foods bring back good memories? Any holiday meal.

Do any foods bring back bad memories? Peas!!! Yuck.  an old babysitter forced me to eat them.

Do any foods remind you of someone? Red eye gravy reminds me of my great grandmother and chicken and dumplings remind me of my grandmother.

Is there a food you refuse to eat? Tomatoes.   Yes I like tomato products but I hate tomatos.

What was your favorite food as a child? Beef Stroganoff.

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love? cottage cheese

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate? instant potatoes (the only kind we ususally had as a kid). Now I hate them and refuse to buy or fix them.

So how about you?

Randomness of the week July 21, 2006

Oh my where to start.  Well I took my second week of vacation this week to try and get some stuff done around the house and do some things with the kids.  Well it started off good was getting the house clean and planning some trips to the lake with the kids.  I got a call first thing Monday from my office manager (which normally isn’t unusual because they always call me while I’m on vacation.)  But this time was different.  She was freaking out because evidently one of the places I interviewed at was calling to check my references.  Which I thought was odd because I was suppose to have a second interview with them and they never called me back to do it.  So anyway, she was wanting to know if she needed to put an ad in the paper hiring new help.  I said no but that yes I had applied because I was looking to make more money.  She gave me that I ought to feel lucky for what I make now…………………..anyway  I wonder what she really said to them because I have heard nothing back from them at all.  Not even a rejection letter or a followup interview.  So who knows.  Now things will probably be even more uncomfortable at work now because they really had no clue I was looking for something else. 

So anyway got some stuff cleaned this week and we went to the lake a few times.  The kids were hoping to go again today but I had to come into work today (go figure) because the office manager wanted to leave early because her sister in law is having a baby shower today at 6 p.m.  Why she needed to leave at 1 p.m. who knows?  but that’s the norm around here.  If that were me I’d get the big “why must you leave so early” speech.  Which I could understand if she were giving the baby shower but she’s not.  I am the peon here and defiantly get treated like it.  I hate that everything is one sided and that people constantly leave early and got to do this and got to do that, but when it comes to something like kids doctor appointments and such I have to work around what they think I should do.  Hello if my kid is sick (which luckily rarely happens where I take off work) then I need to take them to a doctor.  I don’t know I guess a lot has built up and gotten on my nerves these last 4 years.  I really want to feel like my job makes a difference in the world and I only feel like it destroys more than it helps.  I guess that’s what I get working for a divorce attorney. 

Anyway I’m here at work and my kids are patiently waiting on me to get off so we can cook out tonight when I get home. 

tootles,

MIP