Okay is it bad of me to what to have meaningless, no strings attached sex…..?
Done…..Love? November 16, 2008
How do you know when you’re done with a relationship and are just going through the motions. Or should I say why does it take so long to be done with a relationship? It’s not like things got crappy overnight, things have been like it all along, but why does it take so long for us to realize this? I am done……………. Just biding my time and trying to finish my degree so I can take care of my kids and make it on my own.
I have thought and thought about it and I am not totally convinced that there is a such thing as love. Okay well with the exception of my kids, cause I know I love them unconditionally and the love I have for my BFF of 26 years, because even though we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve loved each other unconditionally. But I am not sure I’ve ever been “in love” with any man. What is love? and how do I know if I was in it or not? My BFF asked me if I loved my ex-hubs. Honestly I can say no, we were more in lust than anything. Do I love my husband????? I am not sure I can say yes. I care for him deeply, but I don’t love him because he doesn’t make me love myself……………………
to be continued….
MIP
I’m alive, I’m alive October 30, 2008
Okay so i’ve clearly neglected this blog and not that anyone reads it but I am going to try and keep up. I’ve just received a brand new laptop and hope that will keep me blogging a little more often. Too much going on special here, just trying to work and keep up with classes. I’ve also started making bath and body stuff, lotions, body butter, scrubs, bath bombs, etc….. They aren’t online yet but I can’t wait 
The kiddos are growing like weeds and I don’t think I’m ready for the teenage years but there’s no stopping it. Work is work and the hubs is still working every day. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting next time.
xoxo
MIP
Not much going on. April 1, 2008
I have had tons of stuff to blog about but no time to blog. Now that I’m here my mind goes blank.
I’m in a wierd situation with a friend and work now. It’s not going to be pretty and I’m going to try and stay the hell out of it. I know my life is not perfect but I don’t drag anyone else into it. Now I’m smack dab in the middle and don’t want to be.
Suppose to be going to the beach this summer with another couple, but have no idea if that couple is still going and we may end up paying for the whole condo ourselves and going alone.
Things are just wierd lately, all around.
MIP
A New Day August 6, 2007
Okay, it’s Monday and a new day. Things have been going okay here. I actually got my downstairs somewhat clean over the weekend. Of course all 4 kids were back as of yesterday, so I’m sure it will all be trashed within a few days……….hell hours
I think TheGrump and I need a vacation…………..together…………….alone. We never had a honeymoon and we had a ready made family by the time we got together and our lives seems to be all kids all the time. Which don’t get me wrong, I love our kids but we never have any time to ourselves………never.
On another note TheEx is still a bitch. I’m sorry but if you choose not to let the kids come back at the time they are suppose to be back because you want them to go to a pool party, that you didn’t attend, why are we responsible for picking them up. WHY? Because you are too fucking lazy to drive the damn 7 miles to our house. (enough about that though
That’s all for today
WIP
Much better now August 3, 2007
I’m not sure what’s been going on with me lately but I seem to be much better now. Life is going well and hopefully I don’t have any more mid life issues. I’ll try to be posting more often (not that anyone reads this crap), but just for stress relief or amusement. Go check out the video I just posted it’s hilarious.
Friday Funny August 3, 2007
Just had to share this. It’s one of our local radio DJ’s and it cracks me up everytime I watch it.
Thursday Thirteen #1 July 19, 2007
Okay I’ve been gone a while so I’m starting over with my T13 Enjoy!
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Thirteen Songs on my Ipod
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
What is wrong with me?????? July 13, 2007
I feel like I’m have a mid-life crisis or something. I will be 29 this November and I’m questioning everything about my life…………well not everything, my kids are the only thing I don’t question.
I’m sick of so much. I’m sick of the drama that constantly goes on with TheGrump’s Ex. I’m sick of feeling like a second class citizen in my own home. I’m sick of my husband being such an asshole and I’m sick of feeling like I deserve to be treated better. I can’t say that I wish I could go back and do it all differently because I love my kids and step-kids sooooo much. I’m not a horrible person and damn it, maybe I’m selfish but I want to be treated well or not at all.
Things were a little harder but so much less stressful when I was a single parent. TheTomboy’s father and I get along quite well. Hell I even get along with his wife. Why does everyone else have to be so difficult. To be honest, and I know this sounds stupid but I believe that if TheGrump could be back with the Ex he would. He is much nicer to her than he is to me and I’m sick of it.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy. I wonder if I feel all these feelings because they are valid or because I’m bored. Sometimes I think I should of been born a man, because once I get bored I start pulling away from relationships. In this case I don’t know which it is. As of Tuesday we will have been married for 4 years and I miss that giddy feeling that I had when we first started dating. I wish you could have a relationship where you didn’t get bored and that newness never went away. Maybe that’s just a fantasy but that’s what I really want!!!
WIP
Happiness…….. July 10, 2007
What is happiness? Is anyone really truly happy? If you are please comment, I’d love to know what you think happiness is.
Am I happy? to be honest I have no idea. Over the last few days I’ve thought and thought about this question. I’m happy with my kids, I’m happy that I’m going back to school to do something I want to do, but am I happy with other aspects of my life, Not really. Why do we stay in relationships that make us miserable? Or am I just ready to sabotage another relationship because I’m dysfunctional like that. Is it so much to ask to be treated with respect and to be loved? What the fuck is love anyway!
Maybe I’m going through a mid-life crisis sort of thing. I’m only 29 but am having issues with being so close to 30. We’ll see just how dysfunctional I am. No more sugar coating anything on this blog. If I feel it, I’m going to post it.
Don’t you have those bloggers who go on and on about how happy they are and how wonderful their husband’s are…………… I use to be one of those and it is all bullshit. No ones life is perfect, mine especially. To those who are still in denial……………..bite me.
WIP
