Thursday Thirteen #1

Okay I’ve been gone a while so I’m starting over with my T13 🙂  Enjoy!

Thirteen Songs on my Ipod

  1. Yummy – Gwen Stefani
  2. Gotta have you – The weepies
  3. Interstate Love Song – STP
  4. Crash – Dave Matthews
  5. Money – Pink Floyd
  6. Rehab – Amy Winehouse
  7. Smile – Lilly Allen
  8. Dear Mr. President – Pink
  9. Escape – Jimmy Buffet
  10. She talks to Angels – Black Crowes
  11. Sin Wagon – Dixie Chicks
  12. Cupid’s Chokehold – Gym Class Heroes
  13. Crashed into you – Daughtry

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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What is wrong with me??????

I feel like I’m have a mid-life crisis or something.  I will be 29 this November and I’m questioning everything about my life…………well not everything, my kids are the only thing I don’t question. 

I’m sick of so much.  I’m sick of the drama that constantly goes on with TheGrump’s Ex.  I’m sick of feeling like a second class citizen in my own home.  I’m sick of my husband being such an asshole and I’m sick of feeling like I deserve to be treated better.  I can’t say that I wish I could go back and do it all differently because I love my kids and step-kids sooooo much.  I’m not a horrible person and damn it, maybe I’m selfish but I want to be treated well or not at all.  

Things were a little harder but so much less stressful when I was a single parent.  TheTomboy’s father and I get along quite well.  Hell I even get along with his wife.  Why does everyone else have to be so difficult. To be honest, and I know this sounds stupid but I believe that if TheGrump could be back with the Ex he would.  He is much nicer to her than he is to me and I’m sick of it. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy.  I wonder if I feel all these feelings because they are valid or because I’m bored.  Sometimes I think I should of been born a man, because once I get bored I start pulling away from relationships.  In this case I don’t know which it is.  As of Tuesday we will have been married for 4 years and I miss that giddy feeling that I had when we first started dating.   I wish you could have a relationship where you didn’t get bored and that newness never went away.  Maybe that’s just a fantasy but that’s what I really want!!!

WIP

Happiness……..

What is happiness? Is anyone really truly happy?  If you are please comment, I’d love to know what you think happiness is. 

Am I happy?  to be honest I have no idea.  Over the last few days I’ve thought and thought about this question.  I’m happy with my kids, I’m happy that I’m going back to school to do something I want to do, but am I happy with other aspects of my life, Not really.  Why do we stay in relationships that make us miserable?  Or am I just ready to sabotage another relationship because I’m dysfunctional like that.  Is it so much to ask to be treated with respect and to be loved?  What the fuck is love anyway!

Maybe I’m going through a mid-life crisis sort of thing.  I’m only 29 but am having issues with being so close to 30.  We’ll see just how dysfunctional I am.  No more sugar coating anything on this blog.  If I feel it, I’m going to post it. 

Don’t you have those bloggers who go on and on about how happy they are and how wonderful their husband’s are……………  I use to be one of those and it is all bullshit.  No ones life is perfect, mine especially.  To those who are still in denial……………..bite me.

 WIP