Okay is it bad of me to what to have meaningless, no strings attached sex…..?



How do you know when you’re done with a relationship and are just going through the motions.  Or should I say why does it take so long to be done with a relationship?  It’s not like things got crappy overnight, things have been like it all along, but why does it take so long for us to realize this?  I am done……………. Just biding my time and trying to finish my degree so I can take care of my kids and make it on my own.

I have thought and thought about it and I am not totally convinced that there is a such thing as love.  Okay well with the exception of my kids, cause I know I love them unconditionally and the love I have for my BFF of 26 years, because even though we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve loved each other unconditionally.  But I am not sure I’ve ever been “in love” with any man.  What is love?  and how do I know if I was in it or not?    My BFF asked me if I loved my ex-hubs.  Honestly I can say no,  we were more in lust than anything.  Do I love my husband?????  I am not sure I can say yes.  I care for him deeply, but I don’t love him because he doesn’t make me love myself……………………

to be continued….


turning 30

So on Wednesday I turned 30…… I was stressed out about it but honesly I just don’t feel 30.  I feel the same as I did the day before…………………