Roller coaster

Hmm. I often wonder why I have a blog. I think at first it was a way to express my feelings without having judgment passed on me. Funny thing is its taken me 34 years to find myself and the one thing the people who know me best will say I lack a filter sometimes. And unless I truly care about you I just don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. Which is not something I could of said years ago.

With that said I guess overall this blog shows that I’m constantly in progress changing and trying to improve. I want to be a better mom, better nurse, better friend…….. Not that all would agree. But it is what it is.

I’ve had lots of ups and downs in life. Mostly in the love/relationship department. I feel very broken and maybe too damaged for anyone. But more on that later. Otherwise I’m working hard at being a single mom trying to do the best for my kids. I’ve found a job that I absolutely love and some amazing friends along the way.

Although I bitch and moan sometimes I couldn’t be a luckier woman to have everything I have in life right now. Not bad for a girl who grew up in a trailer park lol 😉

The beginning……or the end

So over 3 years ago or about that i left the asshole ex husband.  Unfortunately it involved him threatening to kill me and i got the cops involved to have him taken out of the house.  But it was one of the best days of my life.   I had never felt so free as i did after that.  It was like i had been released from a prison. It was scary in the sense that i had no idea how i was going to make it but such a relief that me and the kids were finally free. I ultimately had to let my house be foreclosed on and filed bankruptcy.  But it was such a small price to pay for getting out of that misery. I got a little apartment to rent and started my own life.  Now we do have a child in common and she loves her dad but thankfully he doesn’t get her a whole lot.  Which in a way is sad.  But also i don’t have to worry as often while she is gone with him.   My life has come so far since then but i will save the rest of the story for later……